A group of ladies gets together for coffee every once in a while and they "catch up" on the news about their lives. They all attend the same church and have generally the same circle of friends, so there are lots of mutual acquaintances. After they have been chatting for a while, the conversation suddenly turns "spiritual" as people begin to share "prayer requests." A few ailing parents and rebellious kids are mentioned, but the ladies ears start to perk up when one of the ladies begins to talk about a family from their church. She describes the family as "struggling," and "going through a hard time," and finishes her monologue with, "We should really be praying for them."
Have you ever witnessed a conversation like this?
The word
gossip is defined in the dictionary as, "Idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others." According to this definition, the ladies in the story above are gossiping about a family from their church. But, it is important to be aware that not all sharing information about people is gossip.
A church was having some disagreements one time and there was a lot of gossip being spread about people. In the midst of a discussion about gossip at one of their church meetings a lady stood up and said, "Well it isn't gossip if it's true!" This woman's words reflect the attitude that a lot of people have towards gossip.
Clearly we cannot categorize every conversation we ever have that in any way relates to people not present as gossip, because it isn't all gossip. In order to understand gossip, let's take a closer look at the heart that accompanies gossip...
Pride - We all have some personal pride, and we all have a desire for other people to think well of us. If you are talking about someone in a way that makes you look really good, be careful! You may be gossiping!
Jealousy - Sometimes we say nasty things about people because we are jealous of them. Commandment #10 says, "You shall not covet." Not only might you be gossiping, but you are breaking one of the Ten Commandments.
Self-righteousness - I think we all probably have moments when think things along the lines of: "I am so much better than that sinful person!" Sometimes that attitude comes out in our words and the things we say about other people.
Tear Someone Down - Ever wanted to talk really nastily about someone just for the sake of hurting them? That is definitely gossip.
Attention for Self - A lot of gossip stems from a desire to get attention for one's self. It is always fun to have the biggest and best story to tell, but that doesn't necessarily make it the right thing to do...
This is not an all-inclusive list of the motivations behind gossip, but it is a spring board for you to use in your own personal evaluation of the conversations that you have with your friends and family. Ephesians 4:29 sums up our discussion of gossip and gives some great guidelines for evaluating your conversations. It says, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
"Shall we beat a retreat, and turn back from our high calling in Christ Jesus; or dare we advance at God's command, in the face of the impossible?... Let us remind ourselves that the Great Commission was never qualified by clauses calling for advance only if funds were plentiful and [there is] no hardship or self-denial involved. On the contrary, we are told to expect tribulation and even persecution, but with it victory in Christ." - John Stam